Sunday, 10 January 2016

Learning To Deal With Disapointment

Learning To Deal With Disappointment

How many times in life have we wanted something so badly and run away with the stars thinking what we would do and how we would feel once that so called thing is bought or that person has asked us out on a date or that holiday is bought that job is offered the pay rise is given to you or even the job interview you went for you get! The list can go on. So heres my tips from my own life to deal with disappointments in a healthy manner.

  • Disappointments are the pillars of success, you grow and learn to either desire harder so that you can achieve the particular thing or then you learn to adapt the desire according to your circumstances so its achievable, no way in this do I say give up on your dream just learn to adjust it.
  • One large goal can be broken into small steps towards reaching the big goal, its good to dream big!, so learn to walk before you run. An example would be when starting your own business don't start leasing out a swanky new office with designer office furniture, start your goals for the new venture look into what is needed for that a starting point can even be a room in your house as long as the overheads are less you probably will be able to sustain yourself a lot longer, spoken from experience.
  • Theres always another realistic way, it doesn't just have to be one way or no way. Learn to trust the universe more it will aspire with you if it feels its an adequate dream that can be reached at this current particular time.
  • Set positive affirmations for you as an individual this backs up your intention, no point wanting to travel the world if deep down you are scared of flying or being on your own, so start working on those . You could put post it notes in your room repeating affirmations that let your subconscious know that you are serious about your dream and that you want your intentions to back this up. Here are some examples, Life supports me, I believe in my own power, I use my own voice to reach new heights, I keep learning new things, I am peace, I am calm.
  • Disappointment is a feeling don't take it so serious that you stop living emotions and feelings are really a thought and that can be changed try it . When you feel sad or upset honestly shift that thought pattern it takes a little bit of time but you can actually change your feeling to excitement and happiness too. Read into it do your research it all starts from the mind. Not to say get used not getting the things you want just know that a change of thought can release that sad emotion.
  • Don't be scared to try something and thinking well its going to fail anyway . Thats not really coping with disappointment thats just keeping you safe and not stretching yourself or challenging yourself. So take the leap of faith feel the exhilaration of trying something new and if it doesn't work you lived and learnt. whats a life if you dont even do that.
  • Calculated risks are fine. If you have kids and a family, bills to pay and responsibilities , take them into consideration when making bold decisions and choices and know that putting your family first and your dreams a little later if that means they are safe is actually a sign of a responsible and loving and reasonable individual. So dont be down on yourself for that!
  • Say If you have decided to take up a course or try some more hobbies and you can't afford it or have lost motivation always know tomorrow is another day dont give up life is a journey keep going putting one step infront of the other! 
  • Also rationalise this what exactly is not getting what you want another way of the universe saying that not this way try another way, it gets you to widen your creative thoughts and push the boundaries . 
  • One last thing, its exciting to know that something may not work the first time whatever it might be and that you may need to rack your brains to figure out a different way! so turn it into a positive thats the best way to live life and never feel that things in life are an obstacle rather a way to grow and develop, honestly you will ride along with life's adventures with a lot more ease! 

I think sometimes my blog is written from my own experiences and that in itself can be a great teaching for someone else reading this ! Live life fearlessly not worrying about the disappointments honestly they are the best way to teach you patience, working around a situation, reflection and even gratitude that if not this time then next time my own power and mind will lead the way.

I can give you one such example that just happened recently . Mr and I had booked a new year holiday to the Caribbean and had been looking forward to it for the best part of 4 months and my slip disc flared up and it looked impossible for me to able to do the 10 hour flight, so rather than let the holiday go to waste we gave it up to my parents, there was huge sadness attached to it as I love travelling. When I had time to think I realised that it was a wonderful opportunity for my parents to see a part of the world they had never seen, and could be our way of kids to say thank you for all that they do and have done for us! gave Mr and I an opportunity to throw a pre-xmas Eve drinks with new friends have a blast, we had so much laughter that It made me feel better too, we had  some alone time and down time which was perfect to rejuvenate yourself for 2016. So you see I could either wallow or then see it as a light in my life and for others. Its a small example of turning something in your mind into a productive and positive thing.

Have you ever experienced a low point or disappointment of some kind thats effected your motivation? how do you cope? or are you super positive and able to get through it ? let me know your tools you use

Until Next Time
Unscripted and Unapologetic